In this Internet age we are literally bombarded with information, especially with social media and 24-hour news. We make sense of the world around us through our senses and when we communicate using sensory rich language, we are far more likely to be more effective influencers. Anyone interested in being an effective communicator will appreciate the importance of knowing how best to use language in the most effective way.
In daily communication people will tend to use mostly visual, auditory or kinesthetic language. The following lists are examples of these three main categories. By identifying and switching to the same patterns you increase your chance of building rapport with the other person. Let’s remind ourselves that we tend to use a range of these patterns and it’s a mistake and gross generalization to categorize people as “visual, auditory or kinesthetic” as we each use all these representational systems in our thinking. When you are next engaged in conversation with someone listen to hear which of these three patterns appears most. By switching to the same pattern you will find that you develop far better rapport with who you are talking to and they will be left with the impression “that you are talking the same language”
Here are some examples of these patterns
Examples of Visual Language
1.appear
2.clarity
3.conspicuous
4.distinguish
5.clarity
6.focus
7.foresee
8.horizon
9.illusion
10.illustrate
11.Imagine
12.inspect
13.look
14.observe
15.outlook
16.picture
17.pinpoint
18.scene
19.scrutinize
20.see
21.show
22.sight
23.sketchy
24.spot
25.survey
26.vague
27.view
28.vision
29.watch
30.witness
Examples of Auditory Language
1.announce
2.articulate
3.audible
4.dissonant
5.earshot
6.enunciate
7.hear
8.hush
9.listen
10.loud
11.pronounce
12.ring
13.roar
14.screech
15.shrill
16.shout
17.silence
18.sound
Examples of Kinesthetic Language
1.sense
2.callous
3.concrete
4.weight
5.feel
6.firm
7.flow
8.grasp
9.grip
10.hanging
11.heated
12.hold
13.lukewarm
14.panicky
15.pressure
16.solid
17.stress
18.support
19.tension
20.tied
21.touch
Language patterns that elicit information – open questions
The open question patterns are probably the most well-known patterns in communication. All of these patterns are invaluable in eliciting information and are great for maintaining discussions. The following words “open up the conversation” and all questions that start with these words can’t be answered with a simple “yes or no”
Who?
Why?
What?
When?
How?
Which?
Where?
The “Maybe Language” that creates uncertainly in communication
Often in communications people can either consciously or unconsciously evade giving clear and precise responses. This is what I call “the maybe language” These phrases create uncertainly in communications. This can be in a business or social context. Often people who use these patterns are not aware of how vague they are when using this kind of language. There’s nothing wrong with these patterns, BUT this lack of being specific can make for unhelpful miscommunications.
Here are some examples
- I think so
- I guess
- Maybe
- Possibly
- It might be
- It could be
More Language Patterns in Influence
Command Language, used to direct attention
These patterns and phrases allow the communicator to take the upper hand in any communication. These are not “requests” for information or questions, but rather very direct patterns that generate responses from the other party. Smart business owners will be aware of these patterns which are of course the exact opposite of “the maybe patterns”
Examples include –
“Tell me what you are looking for when choosing a supplier…”
“Let me tell you about how we work…”
“Let’s put a date in the diary”
Suggestive Phrases that create influence
These phrases are used to grab attention and to keep a customer or client in a state of expectation. Combinations of these phrases can be extremely powerful in becoming a more powerful influencer. Therapists, coaches and anyone else involved in healthcare will benefit greatly for having an awareness of these patters
Here are some examples
And the more you (X)…the more you (Y)
And as you…
Are you curious about…
Are you aware that…
Are you still interested in…
As you consider this…
Has it ever occurred to you that…
Have you noticed that…
Have you ever wondered..
Have you ever…
How would you feel if…
How do you know that…
How do you feel when…
I don’t want you to be…
I want you to learn…
I know you are curious…
I saw someone do this in minutes once…
I wonder if…
I don’t know how soon…
I wonder could you…
I would like to suggest that…
I want you to bear in mind…
I want you to become aware…
I can remember…
When these patterns are used in sequence they create a powerful impactful outcome. In a therapeutic situation it’s essential to have awareness of these factors to truly assist the client and “speak their own language”
Nick Kemp 2016
